Friday, August 5, 2011

Top 3 Fantasy Football Team Names for Every NFL Team

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the post you’ve been waiting for. As promised at the beginning of the week, I am proud to introduce the most useful fantasy football post you will read this pre-season: The 96 Best Fantasy Football Team Names of 2011

We have gone over the importance of knowing your draft rankings and strategies. You know who is the best at each position, which players will make for great sleepers and who to steer clear of. But when it comes to fantasy football, there is one move that tops them all. The most important factor of any fantasy football league is the almighty team name.

At the beginning of each fantasy football year, you know the main problem you face. What name will get you respect in your league. You can’t merely opt to have your name defining your team. You can't settle for some over-used, low-brow, terrible excuse for creativity. And you aren’t a rookie at this, you can’t have some sloppy combination of a city, color and animal. No. You need to pull out the big guns. You need a name that is going to grab the attention of your opponents and prove that you are no sucker. You are not an owner to be taken lightly. You are not to be messed with.

So here it is. The best, funniest, greatest, most creative, unique and respected compilation of fantasy football team names ever assembled for the 2011 fantasy season. Whoever said that the pun is the world’s lowest form of humor has never witnessed anything like this.



Dallas Cowboys
• Dezzy Does Dallas
• Crest Pro Wittening
• Tashard by an Angel

New York Giants
• So Fly Like Hakeem Nicks
• Ahmadmiral Ackbar
• Ring Around the Osi

Philadelphia Eagles
• My Vick in a Box
• I am Asomugha
• Maclin Oat Bran

Washington Redskins
• Gym, Tan, Landry
• Torainasaurus Rex
• You Say Goodbye, I Say Helu


Chicago Bears
• Forte Year Old Virgin
• I Can’t Believe It’s Not Cutler
• Sour Carimi and Onion

Detroit Lions
• Stafford Infection
• Jersey Leshoure
• On Like Ndamukong

Green Bay Packers
• Teach Me How to Raji
• MegaStarks vs. Giant Hawktopus
• I’m going to let you come up with one for Kuhn

Minnesota Vikings
• Percy Whipped
• Berrian the Hatchet
• Boats and Shiancoes


Atlanta Falcons
• Jacquizzed in my Pants
• Apple Turner Ovie
• Raging Falcoholics

Carolina Panthers
• LaFell in Love with a Girl
• Tonsil Shockey
• Cam Dirty Apes

New Orleans Saints
• Breesy like Sunday Morning
• Ingram Toenails
• Tootsie Sproles

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
• Blount Force Trauma
• Talib it to Beaver
• Arreliousted Development


Arizona Cardinals
• Peach Kolbler
• My Morning Doucet
• Good Whisen Hunting

San Francisco 49ers
• Iupati Like It’s Your Birthday
• Big Gores Don’t Cry
• A Partridge in a Crabtree

Seattle Seahawks
• Marshawn Stewart Collection
• Tatupu Platter
• Run Forsett Run

St. Louis Rams
• Why So Jerious?
• Bad Case of Laurinaitis
• Amendola Dola Bill, Ya’ll



Buffalo Bills
• The Book of Moorman
• What Does Marcell Darius Look Like?
• Angry Byrds

Miami Dolphins
• Forgetting Brandon Marshall
• 12 Items or Bess
• Henne Given Sunday

New England Patriots
• Brady Gaga
• Belicheck Yo’self Before you Wreck Yo’self
• Everybody Pat Chung Tonight

New York Jets
• Revis is my Homeboy
• Shonneshank Redemption
• Fire Cotchery


Baltimore Ravens
• Flacco Seagulls
• Rice Rice Baby
• Hakuna Ma-Ngata

Cincinnati Bengals
• LeFevour for More Cowbell
• I am Serious, and Don’t Call Me Shipley
• Moch Ness Monster

Cleveland Browns
• The Hillis Have Eyes
• Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi
• Bring Back the McCribbs

Pittsburgh Steelers
• Roethlisberger in Paradise
• Let’s Get Rasharded
• Hines your Kids, Hines your Wife


Houston Texans
• Arian Nation
• Cotton Schuabs
• Slaton Worshippers

Indianapolis Colts
• Addai’d in your Arms Tonight
• Making in Wayne
• The Blair White Project

Jacksonville Jaguars
• What Would Jones-Drew
• Changing of the Garrard
• Scobee Snacks

Tennessee Titans
• I’m Bringing Hasselbeck
• My My My Myyyyyy Bironas
• Too Legit to Britt


Denver Broncos
• The Big Tebowski
• Love Knowshon Number Nine
• Royal with Cheese

Kansas City Chiefs
• Taste Dwayne Bowe
• Cassel Greyskull
• Breaston Peace

Oakland Raiders
• Died Without a Nnamdi
• Huff Around the Edges
• A Boller of Campbells

San Diego Chargers
• Just Kaeding
• Takeo to the Ball Game
• Naanee Naanee Boo Boo

You have the freedom to proudly utilize any of these names for your team. Bask in the glory bestowed upon you by your league mates. All I ask is that if you like this post or choose to use one of the names provided, you click one of those little buttons at the bottom sharing this on Facebook or Twitter. Link this page, tell your friends! And then, my friends, it is time to get down to business.


  1. Okay, simply too funny!

  2. Thanks, stranger

  3. I'm sorry.
    Think most of the names are lame.

  4. Then give me your best, Allan

  5. I'm not an Eagles fan but I think Andy Reid in those extremely large windsuits is both funny and gross. I decided to name my team The Extremly Large Windsuits with a picture of fatass A.R. in a black windsuit as my icon/logo on It's better than all the leftover Vick killing dogs names from last year. I mean really, it's been a year, isn't it time for people to find something else?

  6. I mean, the joke-name concept is lame.
    No big deal.

  7. This looks awfully familiar....copy and paste?

  8. A handful of these are ones that I have seen in leagues that i have played in, but 85% of them were made by me. It took me three days of reading through every NFL team's roster, coming up with puns and then adjusting when players were traded or picked up.

    If you saw it from Bleacher Report... thats because I posted it there too. If you've seen this somewhere other than BR, then someone stole it from me. If thats the case, tell me so I can sue the pants off them. If you're just posting that this is not 'original content' because you're jealous and want to discredit me, I take it as a compliment.

  9. Gotcha. Are you just saying that because I offended you with "You can't settle for some over-used, low-brow, terrible excuse for creativity." I apologize. I hope your Cincinnati Coochgoblers have a great year.

  10. Damn. I meant to make fun of what your team name really is, but even my made up name meant to mock you is pretty brilliant. It's really hard to be this good. With great power...

  11. Thanks man!

  12. check out the sweet "REVIS in my homeboy" shirts this site has for sale

  13. man pretty funny, hope you don't mind but using some of your names in the leagues i play....keep up the good work

  14. I'd be honored! Thats why I posted them.

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