Monday, July 9, 2012

The Best Fantasy Football Team Names 2012

Your favorite list is back!

I've updated and added some new awesome fantasy football team names to my list. There is only so much creativity that can go around, so some of these are my favorites from other lists, some where even submitted in comments last year by you guys!

Feel free to use any of them, and definitely add your favorite team names in the comment section. If I think it's hilarious, I'll throw it on the list. So send me your funny team name puns.

Enjoy! And share this page!



Dallas Cowboys
• Dezn’t Ring a Bell
• Dez Dispenser
• Crest Pro Wittening
• Wake Me Up, Before You Romo
• Claiborne Identity

New York Giants
• So Fly Like Hakeem Nicks
• Ahmadmiral Ackbar
• Motley Cruz
• Ring Around the Osi

• Down with JPP? Yeah, You Know Me.
• Whooping Coughlin

Philadelphia Eagles
• My Vick in a Box
• I am Asomugha
• Maclin Oat Bran
• More Cushing for the Pushin’

Washington Redskins
• Torainasaurus Rex
• Helu Kitty


Chicago Bears
• Forte Year Old Virgin
• Forgetting Brandon Marshall
• I Can’t Believe It’s Not Cutler
• Sour Carimi and Onion

Detroit Lions
• Stafford Infection
• Jersey Leshoure
• Suh Girls, One Cup

Green Bay Packers
• Teach Me How to Raji
• MegaStarks vs. Giant Hawktopus
• His Airness, JerMichael Jordy

Minnesota Vikings
• Percy Whipped
• Lord Have Percy
• Boats and Shiancoes
• There’s an AP for That


Atlanta Falcons
• Jacquizzed in my Pants
• Raging Falcoholics
• TD Gonzales

Carolina Panthers
• LaFell in Love with a Girl
• De’AnJ-E-L-L-O
• Big Money, No Cammies. Stop!

New Orleans Saints
• Breesy like Sunday Morning
• Ingram Toenails
• Tootsie Sproles

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
• Blount Force Trauma
• Talib it to Beaver
• Arreliousted Development


Arizona Cardinals
• Peach Kolbler
• My Morning Doucet
• Helter Skelton

San Francisco 49ers
• Iupati Like It’s Your Birthday
• I’m About to go ManningH.A.M.
• Big Gores Don’t Cry
• A Partridge in a Crabtree

Seattle Seahawks
• Marshawn Stewart Collection
• Stop Flynn the Name of Love
• Doug Bald#winning

St. Louis Rams
• Bad Case of Laurinaitis
• Amendola Dola Bill, Ya’ll
• So Scared, Isaiah Pead Myself


Buffalo Bills
• The Book of Moorman
• What Does Marcell Darius Look Like?
• Angry Byrds

Miami Dolphins
• Naanee Naanee Boo Boo
• 12 Items or Bess

New England Patriots
• Here's My Number, Call Me Brady
• Belicheck Yo’self Before you Wreck Yo’self
• Everybody Pat Chung Tonight

New York Jets
• Revis is my Homeboy
• Shonneshank Redemption
• The Big Tebowski


Baltimore Ravens
• Flacco Seagulls
• Rice Rice Baby
• Hakuna Ma-Ngata
• That's So Ravens

Cincinnati Bengals
• I am Serious, and Don’t Call Me Shipley
• Peko Boo!
• Sanu Kids on the Block

Cleveland Browns
• Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi
• Bring Back the McCribbs
• Weeden’t Start the Fire

Pittsburgh Steelers
• Roethlisberger in Paradise
• Let’s Get Rasharded
• It's Rainey Me, Hallelujah


Houston Texans
• Arian Nation
• Cotton Schuabs
• Dancing With Lestars

Indianapolis Colts
• It’s Wayneing Men
• Fleener Schnitzel
• Lucky Number 12

Jacksonville Jaguars
• What Would Jones-Drew
• Scobee Snacks
• The Token Blackmon
• Yo Gabba Gabbert

Tennessee Titans
• I’m Bringing Hasselbeck
• My My My Myyyyyy Bironas
• Too Legit to Britt
• She’s a Britt.. House


Denver Broncos
• Love Knowshon Number Nine
• Peyton Some Happy Trees
• Moreno 911

Kansas City Chiefs
• Dwayne Bowe Connection
• The Princess is in Another Cassel
• Breaston Peace
• Whatchu Talkin’ ‘Bout Hillis

Oakland Raiders
• Age of Denarius
• Who Lechler Dogs Out?
• Carry On My Heyward-Bey Son

San Diego Chargers
• Just Kaeding
• Royal with Cheese
• Bridge over that Rivers Guy

Sunday, July 8, 2012

2012 Fantasy Football Kicker Rankings

Alright ladies and gentlemen,

Got some kicker rankings for you. Now... because they are kickers, I'm not going to go nuts over explaining my picks to you. (Probably because there is no rhyme or reason) But I did throw them in the order that I like them, and included their stat lines from last season. You're welcome.

Oh, and just know, there are going to be people that jump on the top five or so kickers too early. Don't be that guy. When it comes down to it, (excluding David Akers' fantastic season) the difference between the 2nd best fantasy kicker and the 12th best kicker was only 19 points. Less than two points per game. You'd be much better off spending your late round picks on sleepers, handcuffs and backups than you would be jumping up for a kicker.
  1. David Akers – Made: 44 / Percentage: .846 / Extra Points: 34 / 40+ Yards: 13
  2. Mason Crosby - Made: 24 / Pct: .857 / XPs: 68 / 40+ Yards: 5
  3. Stephen Gostkowski - Made: 28 / Pct: .848 / XPs: 59 / 40+ Yards: 10
  4. Sebastian Janikowski - Made: 31 / Pct: .886 / XPs: 36 / 40+ Yards: 17
  5. Dan Bailey - Made: 32 / Pct: .865 / XPs: 39 / 40+ Yards: 12
  6. Jason Hanson - Made: 24 / Pct: .828 / XPs: 54 / 40+ Yards: 7
  7. Garrett Hartley – (2010) Made: 20 / Pct: .800 / XPs: 40 / 40+ Yards: 8
  8. Robbie Gould - Made: 28 / Pct: .875 / XPs: 37 / 40+ Yards: 12
  9. Matt Bryant - Made: 27 / Pct: .931 / XPs: 45 / 40+ Yards: 7
  10. Alex Henery - Made: 24 / Pct: .889 / XPs: 46 / 40+ Yards: 5
  11. Rob Bironas - Made: 29 / Pct: .906 / XPs: 34 / 40+ Yards: 15
  12. Nate Kaeding – (2010) Made: 23 / Pct: .821 / XPs: 40 / 40+ Yards: 10
  13. Neil Rackers - Made: 32 / Pct: .842 / XPs: 39 / 40+ Yards: 8
  14. Matt Prater - Made: 19 / Pct: .760 / XPs: 30 / 40+ Yards: 6
  15. Rian Lindell - Made: 13 / Pct: .867 / XPs: 25 / 40+ Yards: 5
  16. Mike Nugent - Made: 33 / Pct: .868 / XPs: 33 / 40+ Yards: 14
  17. Billy Cundiff - Made: 28 / Pct: .757 / XPs: 38 / 40+ Yards: 8
  18. Randy Bullock – (College stats) Made: 29 / Pct: .879 / XPs: 55 / 40+ Yards: 13
  19. Connor Barth - Made: 26 / Pct: .929 / XPs: 23 / 40+ Yards: 15
  20. Lawrence Tynes - Made: 19 / Pct: .792 / XPs: 43 / 40+ Yards: 4

Saturday, July 7, 2012

2012 Fantasy Football Tight End Rankings

Tight end in fantasy football is a very interesting field this year, and there are a few strategies that you can use here. The field is actually quite deep. 12-14 different guys that I wouldn't be mad at having as my starter.

You've got two guys going in the second round. And don't see another tight end leaving the board until the 5th. So... do you take Graham or Gronkowski early, knowing that they put up statistics like top receivers? Or do you stick up on running back and wideouts early, and wait til the 5th or 6th to grab someone like Witten, Finley or Gresham? Or wait all the way to rounds 10-12 for Gonzales, Gresham, Cook or Fleener?

Lots of options. Lots of strategies. And I'm sure to be breaking them all down in the coming months. Without further ado, here are your top 30 fantasy football tight ends.

  1. Jimmy Graham – You know what... I'm gonna do it. I like Graham better this year. Fewer touchdowns last season than Gronkowski, but similar stats everywhere else. Another TE that will show no signs of slowing. Only issue is the loss of Sean Payton, but with Graham as the most athletic tight end in the NFL, he won't be hurt much. I can see him eclipsing Gronk this season.
  2. Rob Gronkowski – Ankle injury doesn't seem like too big a deal to me. His 2011 season was the best you'll see for a tight end, and there is little reason to believe that it will slow down. Brandon Lloyd is the only addition that will take a few looks away from him, but with Welker, Hernandez and running backs taking passes, I don't see his yardage total being the same. Just hope that someone in your league doesn't overvalue him and take him in the first.
  3. Antonio Gates – I'll put my money on the comeback here. Vincent Jackson is gone and as long as his foot is good, Gates could return to being the best receiver the Chargers have. Defenses will key on him a bit more if no WR can open it up though. Don't sweat the frustration that he has caused in the last two seasons, he still has plenty of football left in him.
  4. Jermichael Finley – I was high on him last year and pretty let down by what I saw. His stats were solid, but compared to the big two, he didn't wow anyone. Yardage should go up, maybe reach 900 if we see his targets and receptions go up, touchdown total should stay between 8-10. He won't put up the same stats as Graham or Gronkowski, but he comes far cheaper in the 6th round.
  5. Aaron Hernandez – Hernandez is faster and frankly a better receiver than Gronkowski. He just doesn't get the press and doesn't get the touchdowns. Hernandez could explode at any point, especially with defenses keying in on Welker, Gronk and possibly Floyd. Another player much cheaper than the big 2 going in the mid 6th round.

2012 Fantasy Running Back Rankings

GHL's 2012 Fantasy Football Running Back Rankings are in. The tiers this year seem to be stranger than in years past. We're seeing fewer and fewer truly elite number one guys, then a large second tier with a lot of guys who have potential to be big. And an even longer list of third tier guys who could really get you some sleeper points or turn out to be nothing but busts.

I'll be working on the rest of the rankings this weekend. All I need from you guys is to start pimping GHL for me. Get on Facebook, Twitter, and give me some shout-outs. Let's make GHL better than ever this year.

  1. Arian Foster – Hell, if my opponents want to get all cute and draft LeSean McCoy or Ray Rice before him, by all means. But Arian Foster is my number one. 1,841 all purpose yards last season, and he missed three games. Expect more receptions and more touchdowns now that defenses will have Andre Johnson to worry about again as well. Only concern is if the Texans lock the playoffs early. He is the only RB who I would make a point to draft his handcuff, Ben Tate, as well.
  2. Ray Rice – The safest choice, for sure. If I have the number one pick in my league, it'll be tough choosing between him and Foster. Rice had the better season last year, and is basically a lock to get near the 2,000 yard mark. He's a beast in PPR. Wear and tear will be an issue soon, but in only his fifth year in the league, I'm not concerned at this point.
  3. LeSean McCoy – Incredible season last year, great yardage matched with 20 touchdowns. And it's not entirely unreasonable to expect those numbers to drop. Philly looked hot ending last season and they could be a major force if everyone stays on the same page. Another true elite running back option.
  4. Maurice Jones-Drew – Even on a miserable offense, he totaled just shy of 2,000 all purpose yards. It might be tempting to go with the players beneath him on this list because of their upside, but MJD has shown the consistency that I'm looking for in my first round pick. And there is a good chance that you can get him falling in the late first. Addition of receivers might clear the way for him to have another big season.
  5. Chris Johnson – Time for a bounce-back. Even with an abysmal first half last year, he managed over 1,000 yards rushing. It's the touchdown issue that made him a dud last year. While inconsistency might not go away, Johnson could get back into double-digit scoring and flirt with 1,800 AP yards. Especially if his Tennessee Titans can solidify any sort of passing game.

Friday, July 6, 2012

2012 Wide Receiver Rankings

Yeah, that's right. I'm posting my Fantasy Football Wide Receiver rankings before my running back rankings. Didn't see that coming, did you? I like to keep you on your toes. You don't know me.

So, here we go, your receivers. Your true number one guys drop off around number 12. The second tier is rolling about 20 deep though. And after that it is all sleepers with tons of upside.

I marked my sleepers, but you kids know that I will be giving you a separate list of them shortly. Also, since I know my audience so well, I've saved you all that time of scrolling by conveniently placing links to all my rankings on the right column. You're welcome.

Let's do this...

  1. Calvin Johnson – Duh. 1,681 yards last year and no sign of slowing down. Didn't have many receivers to help him out, but I expect Titus Young to step up big. He's going at number six overall, and while I've never drafted a receiver in the first round, I guess there is a first time for everything. Let's just cross our fingers that Stafford can stay healthy again and that curses are just in everyone's imagination.
  2. Greg Jennings – He's the favorite target of the best quarterback in the NFL. There is still no running game to speak of in Green Bay, so expect the same attack as last year. Jennings has others competing for receptions, so you can't really say that there is upside there, but there is also no downside at all really.
  3. Larry Fitzgerald – It is nothing short of phenomenal that he can put up the numbers that he does with the talent around him that he has. Even with crap quarterback play last year, far-from-enviable running back performance and no second receiver to take pressure off him, Fitz still managed 1,411 yards and 8 scores. Doubting that he can do it again would be insulting. And I am a gentleman.
  4. Roddy White – With all the hype surrounding Julio Jones, Green is pretty cheap in the mid-4th round. He's as solid as receivers come, consistent receptions, touchdowns and yardage every season. Those numbers are all likely to fade a bit from his last five seasons, but he is still a top fantasy option. And in the third round he is the safest pick you'll make all year.. I can see the trophy now.
  5. Wes Welker – So under appreciated. He's constantly putting up incredible numbers, and still rarely listed very high on draft boards. This season is different. He is going earlier than I've ever seen him, meaning that everyone finally has some sense. In the last 5 years, he has broken 100 receptions four times, 1,100 yards four times, 9 touchdowns four times. He's PPR gold and nothing to sneeze at in standard leagues either.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

2012 Quarterback Rankings

Ah, first post of the season. Let's take a look at where the quarterbacks are falling. Here's my big list. With some pretty genius commentary, I might add.

  1. Aaron Rodgers – I'd imagine that this is number one on everyone's board. You'll see him go in the 1st round of your draft, no doubt about it. He's coming off possibly the greatest quarterback season in NFL history, which is saying something when you consider that a different QB broke Marino's yardage record this year. Still no running game in Green Bay, so expect nearly identical firepower as last year.
  2. Tom Brady – Everyone talked about Rodgers, Brees, Stafford and Newton last year. Meanwhile, Brady's owner sat coolly as Brady had his best fantasy season since 2007. More passing yards than Rodgers, fewer INTs and more yards per attempt than Brees. McDaniels is back in New England for the first time since Brady's 50-touchdown season. His receiving crew got even more bang with the addition of Brandon Lloyd and the Pats have the easiest schedule in the NFL. Only downside is that the run game might improve... but we seem to say that every year. You might have to nab him in the first the way that early ADPs are looking, but I say he's worth it.
  3. Drew Brees – Doubt this holdout thing goes on for much longer. You can tell that Brees just loves playing the game. Last year's leader in passing touchdowns, completions and yardage, a ridiculous 342 yards per game. Doubt we see the numbers again, but he's still got three 80-reception receivers on his team in Colston, Graham and Sproles. Worthy of a first round pick, but he may just slide to you in the second.
  4. Matthew Stafford – I still count his health as a BIG if. But last year he managed to stay healthy and pretty much killed it. 41 touchdowns, over 5,000 yards. And he's still got whats-his-face out there at receiver. You know the guy I'm talking about. Mega- something or other. He'll probably be taken higher than he should, but he is a young guy that can be a top performer if healthy all season.
  5. Michael Vick – Remember that one time when people were taking him number one overall? Ha. That was cute. At the end of the year, Vick will fare much better than he did in the 2011 season, even if he misses a couple games again. The Eagle's got hot late in the year and that momentum should easily carry over. They made a great defense even scarier and that will help Vick out on the other side of the ball. He has a lot of weapons and I will guarantee that he finds the end zone running more than once this year.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

2012 NFL Bye Week Schedule

Week 4: Indianapolis Colts, Pittsburgh Steelers

Week 5: Dallas Cowboys, Detroit Lions, Oakland Raiders, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Week 6: Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Jacksonville Jaguars, New Orleans Saints

Week 7: Atlanta Falcons, Denver Broncos, Kansas City Chiefs, Miami Dolphins, Philadelphia Eagles, San Diego Chargers

Week 8: Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals, Houston Texans

Week 9: New England Patriots, New York Jets, San Francisco 49ers, St. Louis Rams

Week 10: Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Green Bay Packers, Washington Redskins

Week 11: Minnesota Vikings, New York Giants, Seattle Seahawks, Tennessee Titans

Monday, July 2, 2012

2012 Fantasy Football Defense Rankings

  1. San Francisco 49ers
  2. Pittsburgh Steelers
  3. Chicago Bears
  4. Philadelphia Eagles
  5. Houston Texans
  6. Buffalo Bills
  7. Baltimore Ravens
  8. Seattle Seahawks
  9. New York Jets
  10. Detroit Lions
  11. Green Bay Packers
  12. New York Giants
  13. Dallas Cowboys
  14. Denver Broncos
  15. Arizona Cardinals
  16. Cincinnati Bengals
  17. New England Patriots
  18. Atlanta Falcons
  19. Minnesota Vikings
  20. Kansas City Chiefs
  21. Miami Dolphins
  22. San Diego Chargers
  23. Oakland Raiders
  24. New Orleans Saints
  25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
  26. Washington Redskins
  27. Tennessee Titans
  28. Cleveland Browns
  29. Carolina Panthers
  30. Jacksonville Jaguars
  31. Indianapolis Colts
  32. St. Louis Rams