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Andrew (as described by Jordan)- Andrew is something of a mixed bag: He's one part Cowboys fan, one part elitist, and two parts couch potato. He's also 1/3 of the Assholey Trinity with Jordan and Gurgs. He thinks he knows everything; unfortunately, he's right about 84% of the time, which makes it hard to disagree with his predictions. If I didn't want to humiliate him on a week-to-week basis, and if I didn't loathe the Cowboys on principle, I might be inclined to take his advice more. As it is, he's the second best fantasy sports expert I know-- next to me, of course.....
Jordan (as described by Andrew)- Jordan will blindside you with allegories, metaphors, similes, analogies, allusions and pretty much any other linguistic device that will drive his point home. Unburdened with weight of a favorite team, Jordan freely roams draft boards and waiver wires artfully concocting a dominant fantasy football team. When he's not busy losing to me every single week, Jordan enjoys sci-fi novels, tank tops and stereotyping. If I wasn't so good at what I do, I'd totally take his advice.
Gurgs (as described by Jordan)- Gurgs is Carrot Top's carrot top; Southern by birth, Latina by choice, she drinks drinks, curses, and plays fantasy sports better than 99.99% of the male population. She knows more about Ted Williams than Cooperstown, and has forgotten more about Miami sports teams than you or I will ever know. In the world of fantasy sports, if Andrew and I were Churchill and Roosevelt, she would be Stalin-- yes, Stalin was an irrational tyrant that sold his soul to Satan, but if it wasn't for his efforts, Churchill and Roosevelt would never have been able to look so great. By constantly finishing third, she makes the good guys look gooder. And she edits our posts for grammar and punctuation. Win-Win-Win!
